The Self-Isolation Diaries #13: Day 1038267 of lockdown

I say ‘Day 1038267’ of lockdown sarcastically, which many may interpret as me being sick to the teeth of it, but in fact I’m not and I’m ever increasingly in my element.

I’ve not done a diary entry in nearly a month because, well, I’m not so sure why. I basically was nearly furloughed, so I made lots of plans to transform my house/body/soul etc to preoccupy myself, but then I didn’t have to be furloughed anymore which was a massive relief. Although it did mean my house/body/soul transformation is yet to take place. But I felt like doing an entry this lunchtime, post beautifully sunny bank-holiday.

I think the motivation behind this entry is that its starting to seem like country and businesses are going to start, slowly but surely, re-opening. And I’ll be honest – I feel insanely unsettled by the whole thing.

Not only am I accustomed to life as it is now, but I really enjoy it. Sleeping in until 10 mins before I have to be at my desk, daily lunchtime walks around the block with my hubby and feeling absolutely no guilt about not wanting to make weekend plans and sit on my sofa in my pjs from Friday night through to Sunday night. I didn’t know this was the life I dreamt of, but it really is. Video calls and conversations from the bottom of driveways appears to be enough social interaction to fill my extravert cup right up – I don’t feel in desperate need of anything else.

I appreciate that sounds miserable, but it also feels refreshing to write down my feelings on (blog) paper. The general consensus of the my generation in this country seems to be ~ get me back to a pub garden ~ whereas my thoughts on the matter are ~ a bottle of wine in the garden is plenty for me, with a social Zoom call once a week ~.

My feelings on the whole situation are incredibly ironic as, back in March (YES MARCH??!!!) when this whole debacle began, my diary entries were all about how anxious I felt at the thought of lockdown. I seriously can’t relate to that version of me right now, because now I’m feeling the same anxiety at the prospect of leaving lockdown. Make it make sense.

In other news, I am particularly proud of a few things from May, the first one being that I am 5k away from completing 50k May – I’ve officially (nearly) ran 50 kiloms in the space of 4 weeks. And its definitely a habit that will stick. I won’t be doing as many runs as I am at the moment because I enjoy other types of workout so want to make for time for them as well, but one or two runs each week is definitely on the agenda of my future.

My body doesn’t look much different, probably because as much as I’d hoped I would drop a few lbs, I also like to eat entire french baguettes to myself with a side of a family bag of crisps and three too many bottles of wine. But hey, I feel buzzing that I managed it and didn’t find it overly challenging or draining or boring or anything like that.

Apparently at the end of this week, Boris is going to share his plan on social bubbles and inter-household-mingling. I know quite a few people who have been breaking the rules over the last week or so but I’ve been sticking to them pretty perfectly. As I said earlier, I don’t feel this overpowering urge to socialise, and ultimately I’ve always been quite a big fan of rules in fact.

I’m quite intrigued as to how I’ll respond when the rules are lifted slightly more and we can mix with other households. It all comes down to classic, high-school style peer pressure really, doesn’t it? If all your mates are mingling, you’ll feel like the odd one out if you stay home. I’ve always been quite anti peer-pressure and have had no issue being the odd one out if my friends are doing something I don’t wanna do (although my teachers and parents did raise the fact that perhaps ~ I ~ was the peer pressurer when I was in school, but whatevs) so I don’t think that will be a struggle if any of my friends or family want to bend the rules more than I’m comfy with.

We shall see.

Chat soon x

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